


Cera Alas (will always melt)

by AsexualSinner



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Dark Tony Stark, Even his Childhood was crap, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Slight Tony whump, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony-centric, Will add more tags as I go, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 08:20:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18007247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsexualSinner/pseuds/AsexualSinner
Summary: * so build better; hubris wasn't known for falling, but he drowned after Icarus tooA study in Tony Stark, and not necessarily how he earned all his titles, but how he came by them.





	Cera Alas (will always melt)

**Author's Note:**

> Cera Alas - means wax wings in Latin. I stole this off of google translate so if anyone else knows a better translation feel free to let me know!

**Anthony .**

 

Anthony Edward stark

 

He was  _ gifted _ his name before birth, titled by eager grasping hands of a world greedy on knowledge, on  _ news _ . His father’s showman smile begs-  _ needs _ to be seen. Seen for something good beside the blood of war and  _ loosing _ an icon. He smooths his tie over and enters the conference, a hollow smile stitched onto his face as he screams with a pseudo of of a soon-to-be father. Beside him is the proud mother, flushed with pride and nerves both as she takes steps to follow.

 

He goes by “Tony”

 

(Not because he hates his name, it is the  _ memory _ of his mother’s roots. His father’s grasing,  _ bruising _ fingers and the alcoholic breath before his name was uttered, a curse of its own between their teeth. “Anthony,” his name is a reprimand, a warning, it is, a  _ weakness _ . So, tony buries it, buies it deep like the child it is)

 

Tony knows he cannot hide- cannot truly run from something stitched onto his soul in such a way. It is the first childish hope of many, that is crushed under heel as quickly as it starts, his name is a label, a calling card. Names hold  _ power _ , and the first time Tony trades blows with his small, finite control it starts with a  _ name. _  The world shifts and balances, news interchange both in a flippant way of ‘insider’ knowledge to the elusive, young  _ heir _ . Soon to be the only stark- the world hears his preference, and  _ does not listen. _

 

The world had set it’s rules, and Tony-  _ Anthony _ is left unaware of its significance. 

 

Acknowledgement.

 

Ignorance 

 

He set’s precinct then, he  _ rebels. _ As simple as it seems this will set the world on a stage of constant watch, ever looking for the deviancy from normal. He is molded by it, young and wraithful of his first betrayal-  _ the world _ . He rebels.Tony does not play by the rules, will not abide by what he is given. This boy is made of different things, his father's made of iron- tony stark- anthony stark, is made of diamonds.

 

Strong.

 

But breakable.

 

(The quickest to shatter)

 

_ So goddamn soft _ , his father's words are only a memory now, but they still hurt. Their bruises do not linger, but the words,  _ oh the words _ :  _ toughen up, we'll make a Stark of you yet, boy. _

 

Here it is, the story of it all. A name is a label, it is a prophecy. Self fulfilling, his first ever choice taken, Anthony Edward Stark is the harbinger of masks, of polished public personas. He learns young, that the world plays by its own rules, so he learns them quick. (If only to break them)

 

The world knows him by self-proclaimed Anthony “Tony” Edward Stark, and here is where they are wrong.

 

They think the two are one in the same.

 

**Heir .**

 

Stark industries rose in the middle of world war and took the states - and the  _ world _ by storm. Stark industries was,  _ is _ labeled as a war industry. Not only for being born on the backs of others fear, but being born kicking and screaming,  _ violent _ in it’s potential. It was  _ the  _ competition to beat. World leader’s fingers sank deep into their own riches just for a taste- a sample of  _ survival _ . With Stark name in the states, U.S showed its teeth to the world, and once again the earth shifts as a new power reveals itself.

 

Anthony, is naive by default. Clumsy hands and sticky fingers, wide doe brown eyes and coddled in the luxury only the bloodiest wealth can buy. From the start, tony lived his life off the profit of war, lived knee deep in blood. He wadded between corpses with an ease of a fish in water, born to it, lived to it. He is born naive, clumsy, sticky hands with blood under his fingernails unseen. 

 

(it does not stay that way for long)

 

Howard holds his own amongst the tide, finds solace in the silence that will, eventually bring him fraying and _mad_. War is easy to a man who had only seen glimpses of warfare. His mind is quiet and his ideas are the muse of patriotism. Howard builds, builds to destroy- _the_ lamb of slaughter. Brought to the glass and watches the earth shudder at his creations brought to life. Smiles.

 

( _ inheritance _ , howard thinks,  _ legacy _ )

 

Anthony is introduced to the game early. Doe brown familiarizing itself with war propaganda in the absence of a frantic father on the hinges of  _ re-discovery _ . Ice blue eyes stared him down from the poster, flickered between film reels, and was the only reprieve to the static of the heir’s own frazzled mind. In a time of peace, Anthony was raised on the brink of war, his too brilliant mind grasping at toy soldiers and knowing-  _ knowing _ this game of howard’s was not a  _ game _ for what the toy represents.

 

(soldiers feet on the ground clank with the vibrance of green wax, tony’s first invention had been a multi-layered magnifying glass, pointed down in the right conditions, the soldiers melted and  _ died. _ Tony nearly cried with sheer relief, that his father didn’t buy him anymore toys after that.)

 

(he was tired of war, but the war was far from over for him- for the  _ Starks _ .)

 

When tony builds his first circuit board, he encases the back of it in melted, green plastic. He feels a small stretch of pride as Jarvis wonders at it, together they will show Howard tomorrow, tomorrow, Anthony will tell him of the soldiers.

 

(Howard is brilliant, keen, intelligent, but his mind is silent, patriotism turns to  _ obsession _ in the years behind closed doors. For Anthony, he remembers the shouting, the shattering, the war in his home, but it was the  _ silence _ that scared him.)

 

\- in that moment, howard turns his whole attention on Tony’s first marvel. The soft  _ oh _ echoes within the room. Beside the small boy, Jarvis’ own survival instincts click into place- but it’s too  _ late- _

 

(looking back, tony will smile bitterly, and call his father a rightful bastard, but inside, hidden from view Tony  _ quakes _ ) -

 

Later, his mother appears as a tide under the sea of red, a whirlwind that pulls Tony’s poster down in rage. She screams, she cries, Maria is the phantom of wraith, she looks at his melted, broken foot soldiers and tries not to think too hard of melted wax, of hubris.

 

( _ Legacy _ , she thinks,  _ inheritance _ .)

 

 **Futurist .**  

 

The thing is, tony can only stay a kid for so long. His childlike innocence is swiftly done away with, and in those regards, howard’s shadow is predator enough that the man would barely lift a finger and still become the fixation of tony’s very first nightmares. Howards disappointment became his first motivation to  _ do _ better. Even with Jarvis’ gentle actions of care, tony was a kid looking up in the world- looking for  _ dad _ and pushed to be seen by both. 

 

In his head a is word echoed. (for whom does the next bell toll - ?)  

 

(future, future, future)

 

He is raised on war propaganda and conditioned to create the finest weaponry, pushed to the limit by his own doing- just for an ounce of his father’s recognition. He reconstructs an engine for better land travel and slips the specks under his father’s workshops’ doorframe. He expects to get called in, expected either to get yelled at or- ( _ or hoped for something- anythingplease -  _ ) but nothing happens, the engine is slapped with the  _ stark _ name mere weeks after creation, and tony has learned the bitter tang of betrayal tampers nicely with Jarvis’ homemade lemon squares. 

 

Jarvis tries to consol the youth, but Tony snarls out, child like fury and  _ wraith wraith wraith _ burning in his blood. Fire set to, and he trashes his own room. It’s only days later that they make up. Jarvis too forgiving, and Tony, all too greedy to capitalize on the older man’s tender heart.

 

(jarvis was never taught how to wade through the blood soaked house, was never taught humanity was not outlined by what good a human could do- and more about how  _ bored _ they were-  _ to what lengths will they break their own boredom? -  _ Tony thought himself free of it too, but then he learned that even washing your hands doesn't make them entirely clean, either. )

 

Responsibility is a weight that settles deeply in between his shoulders at age nine, or maybe it is only then that he starts to recognize it for what it is. He doesn’t know what he wants to be yet, but vehement and wrathful he breaks character only long enough to be convinced that he wants to create- rather than destroy. Breaks free of howards control, and leans towards jarvis- whispers in between this rift he created between them-

 

“I don’t want to be like sir… I want to be like you”

 

It doesn't make up for the past outburst, but Tony has never been good at apologizing. Never been good at looking back at all, but he is good at looking up, looking ahead of him and in a perfect world, the flying car is not just a dream so much as it is a only not a reality now, because he gave the idea for someone else to claim fame to. 

 

The bell’s in the home toll just as loudly, an echo in the home that ring one, two… four times. Early morning never agreed with him, but  _ Sir _ told him that if he wanted to be good-  _ wanted to be like Cap’ _ then he better start waking up early. 

 

He sits in the quiet of his room and stares blankly at the empty spot where a man once stood on his wall. The night it came down was blurry, but the emotions -  _ frantic, worry, mom? Mom? Mom momwhatiswrongmom-  _ are a whisper of an echo that will never quite fade away. 

 

In the quiet of the morning Tony’s mind is left adrift in an endless sea. When his hands are idle and the sun still rises, tony’s mind is a soft cloud rolling through the sky lazily until, when the right conditions are met, into a thunderstorm can strike down. 

 

(he grows up with iron in his spine and diamond for skin, later, he will be known as a moniker to the thing he strives to, sharp mind and clever wit and even sharper understanding. But in the mornings, tony doesn’t forget how to be soft. Hopes that wherever the future takes him, he still remembers how to be soft.)

 

He grew up trying to be seen by a father, but in the future he’ll see Howard gave him one when he introduced Tony to Jarvis.


End file.
